I am typing against the backdrop of Match of the Day, it is 10:21, the boys are not dressed. I have been to Tescos, the house is a tip, Rocco the puppy has done three poos so far. Yes, it is the Easter holidays and as usual we are right on time as the song goes. We have two lots of friends coming, I have fantasies about getting their Easter projects out of the way this morning that are not going to be fulfilled.
Anyway back to yesterday. Both boys have played football all day, no it didn’t use up all their energy, they are fighting and sqarking in front of Match of the Day now. Afterwards, older boy has a party which necessitates a tram ride and a bus ride. All is going to plan, boy is changed, card has been written and money has been deposited inside. We are waiting for the bus, older boy announces that he needs the toilet, the bus is in 10 minutes. After much deliberation he announces that he can hold on until we get to the party, he then decides to go and have a quick wee in the bushes and is followed by younger boy. At this point I must point out that I only allow outside weeing in emergencies but on this occasion the boys have run off before I can do anything and they are not in view of anybody, so given the bus deadline I let it go. Some time elapses and younger boy runs towards me eagerly. Older boy has already punched him. Younger boy delivers the news that older boy has delivered (I am trying to be polite here) in the bushes. This is a wind up right, at first younger boy says “tricked you”, but it is quickly apparent that he hasn’t at all. I am mortified, horrified and time stressed in equal measure. Without being too graphic, boy needs to go into the toilets in the nearby Sainsburys to sort himself out. I want to punish him badly, I am furious but there is nothing I can do. We are going to miss the bus but there is no choice. Older boy takes too long to sort himself out and younger boys meanwhile goes to the toilet taking his time in typical man fashion. I have worked myself into a sweat, we should already be at the party. time has marched on. I hurry the boys along towards the bus stop, the next bus isn’t for 14 minutes and I want to cry. The boys are meanwhile totally unconcerned which makes it worse. I hastily text the party boy’s Mother and explain about delays with the buses, no way can I tell the whole truth about why we are late. The bus arrives and the traffic crawls at two miles an hour, time ticks on nicely. I need empathy so I text a fellow Mother of boys to tell of my predicament, this helps. Eventually we arrive at the party and older boy is left. All is not well but looking better. In the early hours it occurs to me that I didn’t pick up after older boy as I would have done had it been our dog, I hope I dont get in trouble and that this experience is never repeated.