I would like to start by apologising to our fellow passengers, we were unintentionally loud. Anyway, we’ve made it, we are finally on a train to our Northern destination. I am donning a pair of sparkly silver trainers that cheer me up no end. On route we have purchased magazines, fizzy drinks and an abundant supply of Easter Chocolate, all of which has now gone thanks to their chocoholic Mummy. Nevertheless, predictably it doesnt take long until the fighting starts. Initially I am comforted by hearing a three year old girl having a tantrum because she is over tired. I rejoice at having passed that stage, but not for long. Older boy has recently downloaded Spotify to my phone and is therefore hooked up to headphones; funnily enough he does not want to let his brother have a turn. Younger boy protests loudly and I very quickly reach the point of being embarrassed. We are approached by a staff member who asks for our ticket numbers for a survey. Out of nowhere I ask him if he would like to buy two boys, he doesn’t even give me an answer or react in any shape or form. There is a lot of snatching going on; in true adult style I snatch my phone off older boy and zip it in my coat pocket. There are loud protestations and I exclaim that it is my phone and that they both need to learn to share (full marks for originality there). I inform older boy that I can delete his Spotify account any time I want to, he actually looks concerned and it dawns on me that this is now my new bargaining tool. The fighting continues. I grab my bag and rink, together with a handful of mini eggs and announce that I am going to go and sit in another carriage. The boys exclaim that they will be scared and older boy tries to restrain me. He then says that if I leave someone might kidnap him. In true flippant style, I retort that someone would be more likely to kidnap his discarded Snickers wrapper that he has failed to put in the bin. I would like to say that they calmed down at this point but sadly they continued in the same vein until we reached our destination.